


it's you, it's me, it's us

by livmoores



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Ingrid/Sylvain, Background Mercedes/Dedue, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, F/M, Felix still pines over his au pair tho, Glenn is still dead but there's a beta, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by The Haunting of Bly Manor, Mental Health Issues, Psychological Horror, Referenced Annette/OC, Tragedy, Watching Bly Manor not necessary, ghosts and possession, gothic horror
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27256921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/livmoores/pseuds/livmoores
Summary: “Do you want to hear a real ghost story?”They turned her attention to her. Her eyes scanned the crowd for a familiar set of blue eyes. Once their gaze locked, she relaxed back into her chair. Byleth twirled a strand of her hair as she looked at Ingrid, who was looking at her with eager eyes.“Is this the one about Garreg Mach? You always told me you would tell me the story eventually. That would be a treat,” Ingrid said.Byleth nodded.“It started twelve years ago, at Garreg Mach Manor, with an au pair who was down on his luck and in need of a job…”
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 35





	1. every time i close my eyes

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by "the haunting of bly manor." y'all ever watch something and go? _that's my otp_? 'cause that's what happened. this is my contribution to halloween. dimileth fits perfectly for an inspiration. i took the world and ran with it, have fun. it's inspired by bly manor but i wrote it in a way that, i believe, you don't need to see it to understand!
> 
> a huge thank you to [rapis_razuri](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rapis_Razuri) for being my beta. i seriously cannot thank you enough; this would not be were it is without you. thank you to everyone on twitter who suggested names for the douche-canoe (because despite fucking with the world, no fire emblem characters subsisted the role of peter) and voted for said name.
> 
> due to the nature of the inspiration, please read with care. while i don't get as graphic and detailed at the show and it is loosely inspired by it, uh, _stares at tags_ need i say more?

"And there's no remedy for memory of your face / it's like a melody, it won't leave my head.  
Your soul is hunting me and telling me / that everything is fine,   
But I wish I was dead." - Lana Del Ray, "Dark Paradise."

The music was soothing.

Byleth leaned back in her chair, her hand wrapped around a champagne glass, as she studied the room around her. The guests were laughing, happy to be celebrating the completion of the dress rehearsal. Their glasses clinked, people were exchanging stories, and Byleth’s attention drifted towards the woman on the couch.

The smile on her face was blinding. She looked so _happy_ , something Byleth didn’t see often. She interlocked her hand with the male sitting next to her, who was engaging in a conversation with someone Byleth faintly recognized. The redhead’s smile matched that of his bride’s. Her chest ached at the sight of their love. Was she jealous? Perhaps.

“Haven’t you heard? This place is haunted!” The gentleman next to the groom, another redhead, explained as he sat down. “Surely you two thought of that when you decided to get married here?”

“Ferdie, you’re so dramatic. Don’t you think Ingrid would have done her research?” A brunette said as she wrapped her arms around Ferdinand. Dorothea, that was her name. Byleth made a mental note and took a sip of her champagne. “Do you truly think she would want to get married in a haunted manor?” 

“Isn’t that true for all of these old manors? Someone’s always died some gruesome death.”

“Sylvain!” Ingrid narrowed her eyes at her husband-to-be. He had a point, Byleth wanted to chime in, but kept her mouth shut. 

“What? It’s true!” Sylvain replied with a laugh. He leaned back on the couch and wrapped his free hand around Ingrid’s shoulder. “I’m not freaked out by it. I don’t think Ingrid is either.” He looked to Ingrid for confirmation, who nodded in agreement. “What about you, Ferdie? Shall we tell you a ghost story to make sure you don’t sleep since you’re adamant about it?”

Ferdinand’s face blanched. Sylvain laughed and Ingrid rolled her eyes. Byleth looked down at her champagne glass, feeling the knots in her stomach. Now was the time, was it not? What was the harm of telling a story? It was the night before a celebration. She polished off her champagne, motioned for another, and set it down on the table next to her.

“Do you want to hear a real ghost story?”

They turned her attention to her. Byleth shifted uncomfortably under the gaze. It was the price of speaking up. Her eyes scanned the crowd for a familiar set of blue eyes. Once their gaze locked, she relaxed back into her chair. Byleth twirled a strand of her hair as she looked at Ingrid, who was looking at her with eager eyes. 

“Is this the one about Garreg Mach? You always told me you would tell me the story eventually. That would be a treat,” Ingrid said. 

Byleth nodded. Sylvain raised an eyebrow as he looked at his fiancé and back at Byleth. With a shrug, he got comfortable on the couch. Ingrid curled into him. The rest of the guests were looking at her with intrigue in their eyes.

“It started twelve years ago, at Garreg Mach Manor, with an au pair who was down on his luck and in need of a job…”

* * *

The manor was _huge_. 

Dimitri started at the manor, unable to look away. When he had taken the job, Mr. Dominic indicated the size but it was nothing compared to seeing it with his own two eyes. The garden was sprawling, the driveway seemed to never end, and there was a lake. Who owned a lake? Dimitri blinked as he stared at the place. It was eerie. 

“Do you need help with your bags?” 

He turned his attention to the man who spoke. He was tall but had a gentle appearance. Dimitri knew his name was Dedue and that he was the chef, but that was it. Dimitri smiled as he shook his head. 

“I’m good, thank you. Just got the one,” Dimitri replied and held up his tattered duffle bag to prove a point. “Packed light when I came here. I honestly wasn’t expecting to get a job this quickly.”

Dedue nodded. Dimitri wasn’t sure if he was comfortable with the silence. It worked well for Dedue, not him. It left him alone with his thoughts. Dimitri took a deep breath as he looked at his bag, resisting the urge to laugh at how abysmal it was. At least Dedue didn’t appear to mind; in fact, the judgement Dimitri expected from him for working in a prestigious manor didn’t exist. He liked him already.

They stayed in silence as they walked into the house. His jaw dropped as he stared at the grand staircase. It was wider than his apartment. There was intricate detailing on the wood rails of the staircase, connected to a marble floor that appeared to be spotless. At the top of the staircase, there were two portraits. One was a woman, clearly from the 18th century, with darker hair, matching eyes and a stern look of disappointment on her face. The other was of a gentleman, with dark hair, little eyebrows, and he looked cruel and unforgiving. 

“He looks mean but I’ve been told he was perfectly splendid!” 

Dimitri turned towards the sound of the voice. It was coming from a girl who was no older than ten, with bright green eyes and blonde hair braided to the left. She smiled at Dimitri and he felt a twinge of guilt as he did. He could see the heavy burden of sadness in her eyes. It was a look Dimitri wore as well. He tried to match her smile, but it came out awkward and fragmented.

“You must be Mr. Blaiddyd **!** I’m Ingrid.” She curtsied and Dimitri resisted the urge to laugh. “My brother is around somewhere. But yes, that is Lady Rhea and her husband, whose name escapes me. They were the ones who built this house! It’s an original painting and it is perfectly splendid!” 

Dimitri glanced over his shoulder at the portrait. It didn’t look as such. It was eerie and haunting for reasons Dimitri couldn’t place. Shuddering slightly, he turned his attention back to Ingrid. The smile grew on his face as he studied her. There was mud speckled over her face, her braid was messy, and it was clear she had been running through the mud. She seemed inviting and friendly, which relaxed Dimitri. 

“Will you tell me more about the history once I’ve settled in?” Dimitri lifted his meager backpack. “I should probably get unpacked, but then we will have all the time in the world for you to give me a grand tour.”

Ingrid nodded and turned on her heels out the front door. She ran out the door, the mud following behind her. Before Dedue could say anything, another figure appeared next to him. She had short blonde hair, a kind smile, and an overall motherly appearance to her. She placed a hand on Dedue’s forearm and Dedue relaxed into her touch. 

“Did she trek mud in again? I swear, that girl is going to be the death of me,” the blonde said with a light laugh. Dedue nodded in response. She turned her attention towards Dimitri. “I’m Mercedes von Martritz, the housekeeper and doctor for when the children get sick, which thankfully isn’t often compared to their parents. Welcome to our little corner of chaos.”

The description seemed fitting. Dimitri had been there all of ten minutes and knew there was something particular about the place. The paintings made him nervous, like someone was watching him, and the house was sprawling and had a lot of corners one could hide in. It was too open, too vast, and Dimitri felt his chest constrict at the thought. He had run away after his fiancée’s death because he felt constricted. This house was supposed to be anything but that. 

Dimitri gripped his backpack handle harder. Behind Mercedes, the faint image of a shadow started to materialize. It didn’t take long for Dimitri to recognize the braid in her hair and the calm expression she wore. Even in death, she seemed so _calm_. He sucked in a breath, resisted the urge to vomit, and blinked. 

_You can’t get rid of me that easily, Dimitri._

A foot went through her form and she vanished. It belonged to a boy, who was the same age as Ingrid, with jet black hair and amber eyes. He looked bored and frustrated with the world. Dimitri wasn’t sure he blamed him.

“You must be Felix?” Dimitri asked. His voice was a bit shaky, but he hoped he could present that as nerves. “I’m Dimitri, it’s nice to meet you.”

The boy said nothing as he stared at Dimitri. He shifted on his feet, uncomfortable with his stare. He wasn’t sure if he preferred Felix’s or the ghosts. Neither were pleasant. The staring contest continued for a couple more minutes before Felix broke his resolve and turned his attention towards the door. Ingrid had come back in, the mud now up to her knees, and she was flailing her hands.

“Felix! There you are! It’s rude to make our guest wait for an introduction!” Ingrid pouted. She trekked through the hallway, leaving small footprints of mud.

“Ingrid, _please_.” Mercedes sounded exhausted. Dimitri wasn’t sure he blamed her. “What have I told you about coming into the house with mud on yourself? Shoes off at the door at the very least. What did you do?”

“She fell into the rose garden. There’s a nasty patch of mud there from last night’s rain,” another voice spoke that Dimitri didn’t recognize. “She’s a quick one. In addition to what Miss Mercedes said, what have I told you about running through the rose garden?” 

“Not to do that. And take off my shoes at the door,” Ingrid said with a frown as she looked at the door. 

Dimitri’s focus shifted from his charge to the new figure. She was _beautiful_. There was no other word to describe it. He sucked in a breath as he stared at her. The world stood still as he took in her figure. She was shorter than him, with mint green hair that was pulled up into a messy bun. She wore a similar dirt pattern on her face that Ingrid did. Her eyes matched her hair and were staring at him with such ferocity Dimitri felt uncomfortable. She took off her gloves and shoved them into the back pocket of her overalls. 

“That’s right. You can go into the rose garden but I want you with me when you do it.” She never took her gaze off Dimitri. “You must be the new Poppins. Welcome to Garreg Mach Manor.”

He was struggling with words. It was like he was sixteen again, staring at a pretty girl and unsure of what to do with his life. It was almost comical. He blinked a couple of times before clearing his throat. 

“Yes, Dimitri. And you are?” 

She remained expressionless but gave him a small, barely there, smile. It was a smile Dimitri wanted to see for the rest of his life. 

“Name’s Byleth. I’m the gardener.” She turned her attention towards Mercedes and Dedue. “Do you want help cleaning up? I can help before lunch, assuming Dedue didn’t have it ready. Did I smell your Duscarian spices in the kitchen about an hour ago?”

A groan echoed through the room. Dimitri turned his attention to the source, his eyebrows raising when he realized it was Felix. He made a mental note that the child, who was only ten, already held an attitude. It was almost laughable. 

“Last time it was too spicy!” Felix whined. 

Ingrid was halfway through taking off her boots when she stopped and turned to her brother, an appalled look on her face. “That’s because you’re a wimp, Felix! Dedue makes the best food!” Ingrid said before resuming taking off her boots.

“You eat everything in front of you, Ingy. You’re a garbage disposal!” Felix stuck his tongue out.

“That’s rude!” Ingrid yelled as she chucked her muddy boot at Felix, who dodged. “I don’t even know what that means!”

Mercedes sighed, Dedue was resisting the urge to sigh, and Byleth was chuckling. Based on their reactions, this appeared to be a daily occurrence between the siblings. At least this was something Dimitri knew he could expect. The corner of his lips twitched up as he set down his backpack. 

“Throwing things is rude, Ingrid. You should apologize to Felix,” Dimitri said before turning his attention towards Felix. “And you shouldn’t call your sister a garbage disposal. That’s also rude. Apologize to her as well, alright?”

Felix’s glare was unnerving. Dimitri held his gaze. Eventually, Felix sighed and he muttered a weak apology to Ingrid. Ingrid followed suit, although her apology felt more heartfelt. Half an hour into the manor and Dimitri felt exhausted. Hopefully this would mean that he would sleep well tonight. 

“That was the lamest apology I’ve ever heard, Fe. For that, I’m going to spice your foods when you’re not looking,” Byleth teased. Felix looked horrified. “Both of you go get cleaned up. Meet us in the dining room in half an hour, alright?”

The duo nodded and ran off in the direction of their bedrooms. Byleth sighed and leaned against a wall. Dimitri found it hard to stop staring at her. He had known her all of five minutes and felt more connected to her than anyone in his life. He could push away the voices and their desperate pleas as he looked at her. It was relaxing.

“I would apologize but the reality it is that is our daily life,” Mercedes spoke up with a laugh. “We’ve been trying to get them to go outside more to burn off some of that energy, but it doesn’t always work.” She turned to Dedue. “Is lunch ready?”

Dedue nodded. “It is, and you were right, Byleth, you did smell them earlier. I had the stew simmering before I left to pick up Dimitri.” 

_“_ Excellent! I can’t wait. Dimitri, I hope you like spicy food. Dedue is a master chef and we are lucky to have him.”

Spicy food didn’t matter to Dimitri since he didn’t taste anything, but he thought he could tell there was something different. People could put anything in front of him and he would eat it. He missed the taste of food, but the smell (even as muted as it was) and texture seemed to do it justice. That was a secret he would keep close to his chest. His new companions didn’t need to know that, nor did he want their pity. 

“I look forward to it.”

That was the truth. Despite the chaos and the sense of impending danger, he felt content in the manor. 

_“But what the au pair didn’t know was that sense of impending danger he felt was just the start of what was to come.”_

* * *

The first week at Garreg Mach had gone relatively smoothly. Dimitri had developed a teaching plan for the two, made sure there was ample time for them to play outside (to the point of exhaustion, though Dimitri wouldn’t let them know), and time to enjoy being children. It was a delicate balance, one he knew he was struggling with, but with the help of Mercedes, Dedue and Byleth, it was easier.

The three adults had become his closest companions. Mercedes and Dedue were kind and helpful, always willing to point him in the right direction and provide insight about what they thought was best for Felix and Ingrid. He didn’t see Byleth much, she spent most of her time in the garden and only came in for meals before she would head home, but when he did, the world stood still. She was captivating and he found himself valuing her opinion more and more.

The problem was that the more he wanted it, the louder the voices got. There had been a couple of times where Dimitri caught the apparition of his ex-fiancée in the mirror, out of the corner of his eye, or in his reflection. He jumped every time. Marianne’s blank expression was in stark contrast to the soft smile she wore when she was alive. Lambert’s tone was snide and judgmental, which Dimitri had become used to.

_Time to go, you pathetic son. Do you think you can help these children? How can you help them when you can barely help yourself? Weak, pathetic, broken, excuse of a man._

“Dimitri! I have two things I need to tell you.” 

Ingrid’s voice snapped him out of his misery. She was tucked into bed, her eyes sleepy, and he was amazed that she sounded so awake. That was the energy of a child. Dimitri wished he had it, though he suspected this was due to the nostalgia over having no worries. 

“One, you mustn’t ever wander the house at night. I’ve heard you these past few nights and you’re quite loud.” 

Dimitri raised an eyebrow at Ingrid. He barely slept and instead of being confined to his room, he walked on the ground, made tea, and tried not to listen to the voices in his head. The later the night got, the more the voices turned into corporal figures. Lambert was the loudest, followed by Marianne’s silent stare. He wasn’t sure which was worse. 

“Promise me you will stop going out at night. Promise me.” 

Ingrid looked worried. She gripped the edge of her bed as she stared at him. Her piercing gaze was worrisome. Dimitri didn’t know what to make of it. Within the week, Dimitri had come to realize that Felix and Ingrid were peculiar children. They shared the trauma of dead parents and the last person they trusted completed suicide. It was only natural - of course they were struggling. Still, there was something different about them that Dimitri couldn’t place his finger on. Ingrid's adamant instance on him staying in his room at night was an example. 

“Alright, I won’t go outside of my room.” It was a lie. Dimitri hoped he told it convincingly. 

Ingrid relaxed at his promise. She smiled as she laid back down in the bed and got comfortable. “I also have a fan in my closet. I don’t use it all the time but tonight is one night I can’t sleep without it. Can you please get it for me? It’s on the top shelf.”

It was an odd request but Dimitri didn’t see the harm in it. He sighed and pointed towards the closet door. 

“That one? Are you sure you need it tonight?” The weather wasn’t unbearable. They were near the end of summer. The humidity had died down. Still, Dimitri knew it was better not to ask. He was still gaining the trust of these children. 

“Please, she can’t sleep without it and then she bothers me during the night. I want to sleep.” Felix said as he walked closer towards Ingrid's bed. The noise startled Dimitri; he hadn’t recognized the child coming into the room. “If you grab it for us then we can take care of the rest.” 

Dimitri stood up from the side of the bed and made his way towards the closet. Felix was right behind him (seriously, when had that child gotten so quiet and fast?). He stepped into the closet and was fumbling around for the light when the door slammed shut.

“That’s not funny,” Dimitri said with a pathetic laugh. He had turned on the flight and was already feeling claustrophobic. The closet was bigger than he expected but still small enough to feel fenced in. He grabbed the door handle and jiggled it. “Seriously, this isn’t funny. Open the door.” 

The door handle jingled again. Dimitri scowled at the door as he tried to get it to open. The desire to break down the door was overwhelming. He felt his chest constrict as his vision narrowed to the door handle. All he needed to do was take a deep breath, recollect himself and focus on his surroundings. He could pull himself out of this misery soon enough. 

“Open the damn door!”

The door handle moved from the other side. There was a snap. Dimitri didn’t know what to make of it. He let go of the door handle and stepped back against the wall. His vision was narrowing and his focus was starting to slip. The tightness around his chest started to hurt. Dimitri whimpered as he leaned his head back against the wall. 

His eyes drifted towards the mirror in the corner. He was always looking at those damn mirrors. Lambert was standing, Marianne was sitting. Lambert’s hand was placed on Marianne’s shoulder as they stared at him. They wore similar looks of disappointment. Dimitri sniffled as his father opened his mout-

“The key is stuck! I’m trying to get you out!” It was Ingrid’s voice, but coming from Lambert. The door handle continued to jingle. “I’m sorry!”

_I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry._

Dimitri slumped down to the ground, his eyes never moving from the mirror. They didn’t move; they just stared. Dimitri pulled his knees closer to his chest and wrapped his arms around his legs. He began rocking back and forth as he tried to control his breathing. He dug his nails into his skin, hard enough to break it, and he forced himself not to look at the mirror.

_Pathetic. Disgrace. Can’t handle being locked in a room while some stupid children mess around with a key. You’re better off dying in here, anyways. That way nobody will have to look at you._

“I’m sorry,” Dimitri muttered as he pressed his head to his knees. He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

The door flung open. Dimitri jolted up, looked at Mercedes with frantic eyes, and crawled out of the closet with fury. Once he was out, he stood up and smoothed out his shirt with shaky hands. He couldn’t get his hands to stop shaking. He took a deep breath to recollect his thoughts before he spoke to the children. Dimitri had to resist the urge to yell at them. They looked terrified. Felix was holding a broken key in his hand, lending some truth to the story. 

“We'll talk about this tomorrow.”

If Dimitri was lucky, Mercedes would beat him to the conversation. He wasn’t going to sleep tonight.

* * *

There was something wrong with Felix.

After the closet incident, he kept a close eye on him. He asked Mercedes and was able to figure out his backstory. He had been expelled from school for acts of violence (nobody went into what those acts were, which left Dimitri uneasy). Mercedes thought it was because he was reacting to the death of his parents and older brother. Dimitri was inclined to agree. He also believed it had something to do with the desire to stay close to his sister.

Felix lingered for too long in some scenarios. He would get too angry and lash out. He would insist on certain things being done. He snapped at Mercedes and Dedue the previous night for not having the food he wanted. Every day there seemed to be something that caused Dimitri to raise his brow and for Mercedes, Dedue and Byleth to ignore it. Maybe they didn’t ignore it - maybe they had gotten used to it. 

“God dammit!”

Byleth’s words caught his attention. He was wandering the garden while the children played tag off in the distance. It was one of the few times he had ventured into the garden during the daytime and the first time he had with Byleth there. He could tell she took great care of the garden. The roses were especially beautiful.

“Everything okay?” Dimitri asked. 

“I’m going to kill that fucking brat, Sothis help me.” 

Byleth was scowling. She was holding the stems of roses. Dimitri stepped forward and got a better look at the rose garden. There were stems littered across the ground. The roses (red, white, was that a blue one?) petals were on the ground. It looked like someone had taken scissors to the stems and pulled the petals off. 

Realization dawned on Dimitri as he stared at Byleth. Felix had mentioned he was going to be in the garden an hour ago. The pit of despair grew in his stomach as he stood there awkwardly.

“He’s just a kid, Byleth,” Dimitri began but stopped. He didn’t know what he could say that would defend him. Being a child didn’t mean there were no consequences. “I’m sure he didn-”

“Didn’t what, Dimitri? That’s bullshit and you know it. The ‘he’s just a kid’ excuse can only go so far.” 

Byleth huffed in frustration. She looked him directly in his eyes. It wasn’t as eerie as Felix’s looks. Despite the anger in her eyes, Dimitri felt no hostility from her. His shoulders relaxed, the tension disappearing as he continued to stare at her. Their conversations had been brief, limited to lunch and dinner, but the more they talked, the more Dimitri knew he liked her. There was something about the gardener that captured his attention.

“I can talk to him. Is there anything you want him to do that will help make up for it? Like planting more roses with you?” 

“I don’t want him anywhere near this fucking garden.” She broke their gaze and kneeled to the ground. She started picking up the petals. “Not right now. Maybe in a week or something when I’m less frustrated and can trust the little shit.” 

It was a fair statement. Dimitri shoved his hands into his pocket, unsure of what to say. He could apologize, but it wouldn't mean anything because the apology needed to come from Felix. Even then, that apology was going to be flimsy. He could help her, but Byleth was so particular about the setup of her garden that Dimitri felt like he would do more harm than good. If he asked, she would tell him it was fine and she didn’t need his help. 

His heart twisted at the thought. He wanted to help Byleth. He wanted to do more than that, he realized, in the little conversations they had. He wanted to get to know her on a personal level, something more intimate than the brief exchanges they had. Her presence had become calming, something Dimitri had discovered the night after being locked in a closet. He had been close to a panic attack, had walked outside, and when Byleth engaged with him, the anxieties fluttered away. It was reassuring. It was also terrifying. 

“Let me know if there is anything I can do to help,” Dimitri offered lamely. 

Byleth stopped picking what she was doing and turned her attention towards Dimitri. Her lips turned down as her eyes narrowed. She was lost in thought and was visibly shaken by whatever was running through her mind. Dimitri twitched underneath her gaze. It was frightening. 

“There’s something else wrong with him, ya know?” 

Dimitri did. The only conclusion that Dimitri could come too was that Felix was haunted by something. He didn’t believe in ghosts until Lambert and Marianne had died. Within the past year, he had learned to accept the concept of ghosts and hauntings. Was that the case with Felix? Given his reactions to things, Dimitri assumed yes.

“I’ve known him for a handful of years. Before his parents died, he was a brat but not nearly as much. He was a young kid.” Ingrid was the same way.” Byleth twirled a stray petal in her hand. It broke under her grasp. “His parents died, they mourned. It was what was expected from them. And then Annette came into the picture.”

A small smile graced Byleth’s lips at the mention of Dimitri’s predecessor. He knew her name was Annette Dominic **,** that she was a redhead, and that she died. That was all he knew. He titled his head to the side, his hair blowing in his face. There was a cold breeze that had drifted through the manor. Dimitri shivered. Byleth remained nonplussed by the sudden temperature shift.

“Annie was wonderful. She was great for the two of them. She was passionate, had a lot of experience, and did her best to make sure the children were happy despite their obvious struggles. Felix and Ingrid adored her. Felix more so than Ingrid. I would bet a thousand dollars that Annette was Felix’s first love, even at ten-years-old.”

The petal dropped from Byleth’s hand. She sat down on the ground and crossed her legs. Dimitri kneeled next to her. There was no mud, only dirt, and Dimitri opted to sit down as well. He could wash his pants later. What mattered was that he was on par with Byleth. The idea of looming over her left him uneasy as she retold her story of the previous au pair.

“But she met a man. Only a man could do that to a strong-willed woman.” Byleth sighed as she stared out into the damaged rose garden. “Annie was dead before she walked into that lake, despite what everyone will tell you. When Ryan stole Mr. Dominic’s money and ran away, it broke her. She had been so trusting and falling in love so quickly with the fucker.” 

Dimitri stayed silent as he listened to Byleth. He never pried when it came to Annette. If someone wanted to tell him, they would. If Dimitri was curious enough, he could look at the police records. The curiosity never piqued that high. Dimitri reached out his hand to grab Byleth’s. She flinched but accepted his embrace. Her hands were warm despite the chilly temperature. He traced small circles in her skin as she continued her story.

“Ingrid was the one to find her, the next day. Felix was right behind her. It was one of the most fucking horrific things I’ve seen in a long time. Ingrid’s scream will haunt me until my dying day.” Byleth pushed her hair out of her eyes with her free hand and shivered. It was getting colder by the second. “Anyways, since then, Felix has really struggled. He stares into the abyss, he gets pissed off at the weirdest things, and something is really wrong with him. Part of him died the night Annette did.”

There was more to Byleth’s story, Dimitri could tell. What did she want to say? Dimitri knew what he wanted too. He wanted to mention that it seemed to be more than that, it seemed to be some supernatural presence and that maybe, just maybe, the ten-year-old was haunted. The thought almost made him laugh. It was a silly superstition. He knew how people reacted to the death of their loved ones; he was a prime example. 

“Is it just that?” He eventually asked as he stopped tracing circles on her skin.

Byleth fell silent. She was thinking, choosing her next words carefully. Dimitri knew the look well; she wanted to express her opinion without being written off as mentally unstable and believing in the paranormal. They barely knew each other, yet Dimitri was ready to confess everything to her. Would Byleth do the same? Probably not. He wouldn’t fault her for it.

_Or you’re crazy, have you considered that? I mean, we already knew that!_

“I don’t think so,” Byleth admitted, breaking Dimitri free of Lambert’s mocking tone.

“I don’t think so either.”

He squeezed her hand. She squeezed back. Dimitri offered her a small, but strained, smile. It was a vague admission that something more was happening, but Dimitri would take it. Perhaps he wasn’t crazy after all.

* * *

It was another sleepless night. 

Since his conversation in the garden with Byleth, they had been talking more and more. He spent time in the garden with her, and to his surprise, Dedue. Dedue mentioned that he preferred to have as fresh food as he could and was showing Byleth how to properly grow plants from Duscar for ingredients. Even though Dimitri couldn't taste Dedue’s food, it captured his attention. It was mainly to see a smile on Byleth’s face, but he didn’t dwell on that much.

His nightmare had been about Byleth. Or had it been about Marianne? It was a gross combination of the two. Whenever he thought about the other, they meddled together to make a grotesque monster that left Dimitri nauseous. In this one, Byleth’s eyes had been black, she was crying, but her clothing was Marianne’s. She was pleading for him to come forward, to save her, to do anything, when he woke up with a start.

Dimitri groaned in annoyance as he looked at the clock. It was three in the morning and getting back to sleep would be impossible. He had been tossing and turning since he first woke up from his nightmare some four hours ago; sleep wasn’t happening. Dimitri tossed the covers to the side, slipped on his slippers, and made his way towards the door. A cup of chamomile with valerian root would hopefully quell his anxiety.

He chuckled to himself as he walked through the hall, knowing that Ingrid would be furious with him if she discovered he had been out of his room at night. He didn’t understand her reasoning, but knew it was best not to question it. Even though he believed there was something more to Felix’s personality traits, he brushed Ingrid’s off as an overactive imagination who was influenced by her twin. 

The kettle hissed on the stove. Dimitri jumped at the sound. Despite his lack of sleep, he was extremely groggy and vaguely unaware of what he was doing. His body was on autopilot. He took the pot off the stove, grabbed a cup, and poured the tea. He closed his eyes, inhaled the smell, and sighed. It didn’t smell like much but the warmth was pleasant on his hands. Before taking a sip, Dimitri opened his eyes.

The cup dropped from his hands and shattered on the floor. The hot water splashed against his socks and he cursed. 

There was a figure in the archway, one that Dimitri could only assume was Ryan **.** He had his arms crossed, a scowl on his face, and looked as exhausted as Dimitri felt. He was tall, skinny, and held a generic overall appearance. He gulped, blinked, and the figure was gone. 

With a shaky breath, he knelt to pick up the broken glass. _It wasn’t real, you’re just tired, it’s fine, Dimitri. It’s fine_ was the mantra he kept repeating. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. He was nauseous, and his fight or flight had kicked in at full force. This wasn’t the typical anxiety and low headache he experienced with Marianne and Lambert. This was something different, more sinister, and more controlling.

He could still feel the cold glare on him. Shuddering, he finished cleaning up the mess. He did his best not to turn his attention towards the doorway. Ryan was gone. It was a figment of his imagination. If he looked back, he wouldn’t be there, so why should he psych himself out? Muttering a pathetic attempt at soothing words under his breath, Dimitri placed the broken pieces of glass into the trash bin. He could have tea in the morning.

_Promise me you’ll stay in your room._

Ingrid’s words ran through his mind. He twitched at the memory and tried to ignore the fact that the room felt ten degrees cooler. Dimitri fought the urge to laugh. When Ingrid had first told him that, he brushed it off and thought it was a silly suggestion. Now that he was faced with the prospect of a _ghost_ in the building, Ingrid’s words rang true. He should have known better; children had a knack for the paranormal.

He was in the middle of calming himself down when he heard a loud bang. Dimitri blinked and turned to his left. He had been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t realized he had come up the stairs and was near his bedroom. The bang came from Ingrid’s room. Furrowing his brows, he turned on his heels as Ingrid materialized in front of him.

“What did I tell you about leaving your room at night?!” She whispered harshly. Ingrid grabbed Dimitri’s sleeve and pulled him closer to her. “That’s how she finds you! She will kill you!” Ingrid’s voice was frantic and full of worry.

“What are you talking about? Who will kill me?” 

“Could you be any louder, boar?” Felix came around the door and stood next to his sister. Dimitri didn’t recognize the cold stare that was coming from his face. “Shut _up_ or she’ll come get you.” Felix turned and pointed towards the stairway. “You missed her by a few seconds, consider yourself lucky.”

Before Dimitri could ask what they were talking about, he saw her. 

She was shorter, probably about five foot three, and wore a white dress that trailed along the floor. The hems were dirty but transparent. She had dark hair that went to the middle of her back. Her dress was outdated compared to his modern jeans. It took Dimitri a second to realize that he was staring at the woman in the portrait above the staircase. 

“Is tha-”

“Shut _up,_ boar!” 

Felix and Ingrid tugged on Dimitri’s sleeve and pulled him to the wall. Dimitri opened his mouth to say something but Felix’s glare shut him up. He turned his attention to Ingrid, who was pale and had fear in her eyes. Her focus was on the woman, who was moving towards them, a void look on her face.

Dimitri squinted. No, he didn’t have a void expression. Her face was blurry. She had limited facial features. She was missing her eyes, nose, and mouth, but Dimitri could make out the general structure to her face. A chill ran down his spine as he stared at her. Rhea didn’t look his way. In fact, it didn’t look like she noticed them at all.

Rhea turned down the hall, closer towards the trio, as a figure materialized in front of her. It was Ryan, the man from earlier. Dimitri stared as he watched the corporal figure come closer to Ingrid and Felix, a look of sheer anger on his face. 

“Brats. What did I tell you? Stay out of it!”

Ingrid dug her fingers into Dimitri’s skin. Felix didn’t move. Dimitri wrapped his arm around him and pulled him closer. His heart was racing as Ryan moved forward, coming straight for the twins. There was blood coming down his forehead, his voice was rising, and he didn’t seem to notice Rhea. How could he? This wasn’t real, this couldn’t be real.

_“Fucking little rotten brats, I’ll make sure you never see a dam-”_

Ryan had stepped in front of Rhea. She moved quickly and grasped her hand around his throat. Ryan gasped loudly as he tried to pry away from her grasp. Dimitri, Ingrid and Felix stood frozen against the wall as they watched her grip around Ryan tighten. He was trying to scream, but no sound was coming out. Rhea turned around and pulled him by the neck towards the stairs. His body went limp as she progressed, her hand never leaving his neck.

When she disappeared from their line of sight, Ingrid broke away. There were tear tracks on her face and she appeared to still be crying. Her whole body was shaking.

“You _promised_ me you wouldn’t go outside your room. That’s why you don’t go outside your room, Dimitri. _Please_. That’s how she’ll kill you.”

Dimitri stared at her before turning back to Felix. His expression was blank but he could see the worry lines etched on his face. With a trembling hand, Felix grabbed Ingrid’s and held it tightly. The action seemed to comfort her.

“We can’t lose you too. Please. Don’t leave your room at night ever again.”

“Okay. Okay, I promise.”

This time, Dimitri meant it.


	2. it's like a dark paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was beautiful, intoxicating, and Dimitri never wanted to leave her side. The manor has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always, read with care. if you've seen bly manor, this is the peter arch. if you haven't, he's an abusive piece of shit. i focus more on the ghosts side of it and that story as opposed to their background, but yeah.

When Dimitri first arrived at Garreg Mach, he knew that Dedue’s mother’s health was failing. It wasn’t something they talked about, other than Dedue used to stay for dinner, but now was leaving earlier each day. Mercedes mentioned that it was only a matter of hand before she passed. That time came while they were having dinner a couple of nights after the Rhea incident (what Dimitri referred to it as, but Felix and Ingrid refused to acknowledge it when a phone call had come in and informed Dedue of his mother’s passing.

The bonfire had been Byleth’s idea. The children had gone to bed hours ago, Dimitri and Mercedes having put them to bed within an hour or two after the funeral. The bonfire was for the adults and a chance for them to breath after the events of the night. Dimitri’s heart hung heavy as he looked at Dedue. He understood his agony well.

“Want some, Poppins? I got it from the cellar,” Byleth said with a strained smile as she waved the bottle of wine in front of him.

Was alcohol a good idea? Knowing his history, he knew the answer was no. He had a high tolerance and drank far too much, which only left him with nasty hangovers and blacked out memories. Dimitri preferred to be sober and in control of his thoughts. But as he looked at Mercedes, who was holding Dedue’s hand and whispering something to him, Dedue, who was wearing a strong face, and Byleth, who remained emotionless despite the frown on her face, he knew he was in good company. One drink wouldn’t hurt.

“Sure,” Dimitri replied. Byleth had already poured him a cup and handed it to him. Dimitri snorted. “Did you assume I was going to say yes?”

“Nah, but I figured if you didn’t, I would drink it myself. Mercie? Dedue? You want one? It’s the _finest_ from the cellar, I guess. Okay, it’s like twenty years old, but still. I figured if there’s a night to break out the good shit, it would be now.”

Mercedes shook her head. “I’m good, but thank you, dear.”

“I’ll take a glass,” Dedue said.

Byleth’s frown slowly turned into a smile as she poured Dedue a generous glass and handed it to him. The company lulled into a silence, only hearing the cackling fire and the rustles of the trees. It was strangely soothing, even with the looming presence of a gigantic manor to their left. 

Dedue was the first to talk. He talked about his mother and the fond memories he had of her. It surprised Dimitri to hear the gentle giant speak but he cherished it. Dedue’s mother had encouraged him to become a chef and taught him how to cook. He had come back from Duscar because she had fallen ill, even though she insisted he stay in Duscar to learn everything about his heritage and cooking. He told them stories of how she used to have his sisters try and mimic the food she made, but Dedue’s was always better.

His stories lulled off into silence with the end of his cup. Mercedes picked up the conversation, mentioning how she enjoyed the times she had met his mother. She reflected on her brother Jeritza, who had died when he was eighteen due to an autoimmune disease. It was what had encouraged her to go into medicine because she wanted to help those like her brother. When her expression turned sad, Byleth took over and recounted the stories of her and her father.

She was a military brat and traveled the world. Her father was a decorated soldier. She had joined the military as soon as she could, desperate to follow in her father’s footsteps. But before she could go to her first duty station, her father had been killed in the line of duty. It broke her but resolved her to keep going forward. She had done her tour and left with an honourable discharge, which led her to “a simpler life.”

“What about you, Poppins? Surely you’ve got some ghosts that could use a celebration.”

Dimitri winced. It was a poor choice of words. He took a big swig of his drink before sighing. Byleth seemed to recognize that her words had done more damage than intended. She reached out and took his hand. Dimitri stared at it. Had her hands always been so damn warm or was it cold? 

“My … My father died a couple of years ago. There was a nasty fire that broke out in our home. I was at a friend’s house.” The guilt twisted in his stomach. “And then my fiancé was the victim of a hit and run right before I came here.”

As if on queue, Lambert and Marianne appeared behind Byleth. Lambert looked menacing as ever but Marianne’s features looked soft. It was almost like he was looking at her when she was alive. There was no ill intent coming from her person, which was a first. 

“I don’t remember my father much. But Marianne was kind. She was sweet. She cared a lot about animals and was studying to be a vet. She was my first everything.” The smile was starting to grow on his face. Despite her glares, he felt relaxed as he thought about her. This was the way she was supposed to be remembered, right? “She was beautiful. I wish I could have given her more.”

He took a big sip of his wine. It tasted like nothing, but Byleth said it was expensive so he went with it. His gaze flickered back to Marianne, who seemed to be relaxed. Her figure was flickering against the fire. Was she starting to fade or was that Dimitri’s hopeful imagination? He finished off his drink and held out his glass for more. If he was going to talk about Marianne, he wanted to be drinking. It seemed like the right thing to do.

“I’m sure you gave her everything you could,” Mercedes offered softly. 

Dimitri shook his head. “Not at all. I was on my way to end our engagement when she got hit by a car. How fucked up is that?”

“What, fucked up that you were putting yourself first and she just happened to get hit by a car? The _horror_.” Byleth’s words were slurred. “Truly fucking terrible of you, really.”

Her words were harsh, but they served a point. He had been putting himself first, even though he pretended it was for the benefit of both. Dimitri had come to realize that while he loved Marianne, he wasn’t in love with her, and therefore their marriage would have been miserable. He told himself that he was putting her first, that he was doing it for her sake, not his. How could she love someone like him? 

“Byleth!”

“What?! It’s true!” Byleth raised her wine glass, like she was trying to prove a point. “If he didn’t want to get married, he needed to get out of it! It doesn’t matter if he loved her or not! That would have crushed the poor girl.” The longer her sentences were, the more pronounced her drunken state became. Byleth swayed back and forth in her seat.

Marianne placed a hand on Byleth’s shoulder. Byleth flinched at the touch, even though the hand went right through her. Dimitri shuddered at the coldness that permeated the air.

_“She’s right, Dimitri. You’ve been harbouring the guilt for too long. It’s time to let it go.”_

It wasn’t that simple. Marianne didn’t understand. He stared at her, thankful to be under the guise that he was starting at Byleth. Marianne stared back, questioning his authority on the matter. 

_“Let me go, Dimitri. It’s okay. I don’t hate you, nor fault you. Let me go.”_

His gaze drifted back to Byleth, who was still swaying in her chair. She was humming a melody and staring at the fire, lost in her memories. The anxiety he felt from Marianne’s gaze started to dissipate as he took in her appearance. Subconsciously, he reached out and grabbed Byleth’s hand. The image of Marianne’s hands faded on Byleth’s shoulder at their contact.

Byleth’s eyes widen at their contact. She turned to him, a wide grin on her face. Dimitri’s world stopped moving as he stared at her.

_“It’s okay, Dimitri. Let me go.”_

He did.

The tension in Dimitri’s shoulders relaxed as he gripped Byleth’s hand harder. She didn’t say anything, but the grin on her face started to reach her eyes. Dimitri’s eyes tore away from hers to search for Marianne. Her form was gone and he could feel the weight lifted from his body. He didn’t realize how much he had been holding onto the guilt of his past relationship, even though Marianne had haunted him as much as his father. 

The wind howled in the background. Dimitri could make out the familiar shape of his father but elected to ignore it. That was a problem he would tackle another night.

“Hey, anyone want some whiskey?” Byleth asked as the fire crackled. They had lulled into a comfortable silence with occasional conversation. She pulled out a flash with her free hand. “We could all use some whiskey.”

“You really should be drinking wat- Dedue, seriously?” Mercedes stared at Dedue, who had taken the flask from Byleth. He shrugged as he took a swig. “You two should be drinking water. Make that three of you!”

Byleth and Dimitri laughed. The conversation turned lively again as they bounced stories off each other. Most of them revolved around Ingrid, Felix, and the shenanigans that the two would get into, especially during the summer. It gave Dimitri insight into the world they shared. They were secluded at Garreg Mach but held strong connections. If he stayed long enough, was this something he could look forward to? Dimitri hoped so.

Before long, Mercedes and Dedue said their goodbyes, leaving Dimitri and Byleth alone with a dwindling fire. Their hands were still intertwined. Dimitri found himself scooting closer to Byleth as the night went on and the alcohol started to inhibit him. He opened his mouth to ask a question but she beat him to the punch.

“Hey Poppins?” 

She had moved closer. All Dimitri would have to do is tilt her head up and lean down to close the distance. Her lips looked soft and inviting. She smelled like roses and jasmine; would she taste like them too? Dimitri yearned to find out.

“Yeah?” 

Byleth didn’t answer verbally. Instead, she set her drink down beside her and climbed into his lap. Dimitri froze at her actions. This night was full of surprises. First Marianne, now this? He didn’t know what to make of it. His pulse quickened and he could feel his heart thundering in his chest as she placed his hands on her waist to hold her steady. Despite her drunken stupor, she was holding herself well.

“What are y-”

Her lips crashed against his. Dimitri yelped in surprise but welcomed it. Her lips were as soft as he imagined them but somehow better. He moved one of his hands from her waist to her hair to pull her close. Byleth moaned as he tugged on her hair and Dimitri smiled against her lips. She tilted her head to the side to deepen the kiss as her tongue traced along his bottom lip, begging for an entrance. 

He granted her request, a moan escaping his lips. This was heavenly and better than Dimitri could have imagined. Byleth’s hands slipped underneath his shirt as their tongues collided. Dimitri’s body tensed under his soft touch and he pulled away. He missed the warmth of her lips. With a shaky hand, he placed it on top of hers and guided it away from his skin. Although he welcomed her kisses, he wasn’t sure he was ready to go farther than that.

_Coward._

Byleth recoiled her hand but remained in his lap. Her lips were swollen, her hair was messy, and she looked confused. Dimitri’s heart tugged at the sight. He wanted to continue kissing her, to hold her close, but it wasn’t right. She was intoxicated, he was tipsy, and he had _just_ gotten comfortable with the idea of moving on.

_It’s because you’re a coward, don’t confuse that with moving on._

“Byleth.”

“Shit, I’m sorry, I should have known,” she replied as she scrambled off him. She was wobbly on her feet and Dimitri moved to stabilize her. “I misread it. It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Sorry.” Byleth tugged at the hem of her shirt. 

Dimitri didn’t know what to say. His focus started to glaze over as he stared at Byleth. The focus shifted to Lambert’s figure that was appearing behind her shoulder. He flinched and looked away. It was the wrong action, Dimitri knew it, but couldn’t change what had happened. He watched as Byleth continued to back away from him, muttering weak apologies as she gathered her things.

She said goodbye a few minutes later but Dimitri barely heard her. He stared at his father and whimpered. Why was it that one was okay with him moving forward but the other insisted on making their presence known? He wanted to curl up in a ball and pretend that nothing had happened. The fire started to dwindle as Dimitri’s vision narrowed. 

_Of course she’s running away from you. I cannot say I blame her. I would run away, too._

Dimitri cradled his head in between his hands as Lambert’s words turned into screams. The tears fell on his face as he tried his best to focus on the fire. His stomach twisted with guilt. Marianne had told him to let go, but she must have been lying. Why else would his father be yelling at him? Had it been a trap? 

His body was on autopilot, homed in on his misery as he put out the fire. Lambert’s voice was screaming in his ear as he stared at the dark pit. It wasn’t until the sound of a twig snapping woke him up, abet briefly. He blinked, winced at Lambert’s harsh words, and made his way back to his bedroom for another sleepless night.

* * *

Against Dimitri’s better judgement, he went to find Byleth first thing upon waking up. 

He had barely slept a wink, overwhelmed with the events that had happened the night previously. He needed to make sure she understood that it was nothing to do with her and that it was all on him. She hadn’t misread the situation; he had wanted to kiss her since he first laid eyes on her. Last night had just been overwhelming with the conversations and alcohol, that was all.

It took hours to find her. He filtered between teaching the kids math and wandering around the grounds. After two hours of his fidgeting, he had dismissed them for class. Ingrid kept giving him knowing glances when they crossed paths. Eventually she pulled him to the side, having decided she was tired of his moping, and mentioned that he should check the back of the garden. It was a place she liked to hide out. 

Dimitri didn’t want to ask how Ingrid knew that but took her advice. Within some five hours, he found her figure, hunched over a row of tiger lilies he didn’t realize existed on the grounds. Her body went rigid as stepped closer to her. Dimitri cursed his loud footsteps for giving him away.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Didn’t want to be found.” Her tone was short and dismissive.

While Dimitri didn’t blame her, he continued. “Ingrid told me you might be back here. I wanted to talk and apologize.” He rubbed his index finger and thumb together. Lambert was suspiciously quiet as he looked at Byleth. “I owe you least that.”

She didn’t look back at him but continued to work on repotting the flowers. She was being too forceful with the plant and she cursed as the tiger-lily crumbled beneath his grasp.

“What is there to talk and apologize for? I came onto you when it wasn’t wanted. It should be me apologizing, not you, Poppins.” Her tone softened at his nickname. “I told you last night that I misread the situation. That’s all.”

“But you didn’t misread it.” Dimitri gave an exasperated sigh. “You might have been drunk, but I wasn’t that intoxicated. I welcomed it, Byleth. It was just a lot to handle.” 

That was putting it lightly. How was he supposed to mention that he had a borderline panic attack over her because his father was screaming at him and he still felt guilty for attempting to move on from Marianne? It had been less than twenty-four hours since he accepted moving on. His mindset didn’t change overnight. 

“I told you about my ex-fiancé and my dad and then I was making out with a beautiful woman.” He shoved his hands into his pocket. Byleth stopped what she was doing and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she listened to him. “It was wrong because of the atmosphere. We had been talking about death, trying to give them a celebration of life, and it felt wrong. That was all. It had nothing to do with you. It was never anything to do with you, it was all about me.” 

There was also the fact that Dimitri wished their first (and probably last) kiss had been when they were sober. He wanted Byleth to experience what he was feeling, the spark of electricity and the nervousness in his stomach as their lips touched. He wanted her to remember it and do it because she wanted to, not because she was drunk and horny. Dimitri kept those thoughts close to his chest. If that was the only intimate moment he could get from the gardener, he would take it.

She glanced over her shoulder to look at Dimitri. Her expression was hard to read but Dimitri could make out the way her eyes softened and the corner of her mouth seemed to twitch upward. In the few weeks he had been at Garreg Mach, he had started to learn her expressions. Felix was becoming harder to read than Byleth. Byleth readjusted her position so she was facing him and sat down on the edge of the flower bed.

“If you could do it again, would you?” She asked.

“Do what?” 

“Kiss me.”

Heat flushed over Dimitri’s cheeks. Of course he would kiss her, though she didn’t know that. He stared at her, dumbfounded. After a few seconds of looking like a fool, he found his voice.

“In a heartbeat.”

Byleth had moved from her seated position and was standing right next to him. Her chest was pressed up to his and he sucked in a breath. She was so close. All he had to do was cup her chin, lean down, and he could be kissing her. He gulped as he stared at her.

“I might have been drunk, Dimitri, but I knew what I was doing. I know what I want. I understand that you’ve got some shit to work through, we all do if we come to Garreg Mach, but I still know what I want. I’ve enjoyed our time together. And if you’ll have me, I want to try.” 

Dimitri cupped her chin and pulled her into a kiss. Her lips were just as soft as he remembered. Every fiber of his being was on fire as the kiss turned more frantic, more animalistic. Every carnal desire he felt stirred awake as he continued to kiss Byleth. She pressed more into him, grinding up against him. Dimitri moaned softly as he wrapped his free hand around her waist, pulling her closer.

When she was close enough, Dimitri guided her back towards the wall as he tried to keep his lips on hers. Byleth fumbled back, trying his guidance, eventually resting her back against the wall. Dimitri moved his hand from her waist to her thigh. He gripped her thigh and pulled it up, hiking it around his waist. Byleth curled her leg around his waist for support and grinded into his body. 

“Sothis,” Byleth breathed against Dimitri’s skin when he pulled away. They were both panting, sweat dripping down their foreheads, from the make out session. The smile started to grow on her face as she pressed her forehead against Dimitris. “Mind if I stay the night with you?”

“ _Please,”_ Dimitri replied desperately. 

The mint haired woman didn’t respond as she pulled him into another kiss. The kissing was hungry, more desperate, and if they weren’t careful, Dimitri would take her against the wall. He was lost in her touch, her smell, and everything about her when Ingrid and Felix’s voices rang through their ears. They pulled away, straightened their clothes, and went back to work like nothing had happened.

Ingrid was quick to comment on Dimitri’s appearance when they found the two. Byleth was already back at work tending to the garden. Dimitri blushed, Felix groaned, and Ingrid changed the subject quickly. That was the pattern for the rest of the day. Dimitri started behind Ingrid and Felix, making sure that they were safe, while his mind wandered to the kiss he shared with Byleth. He felt jittery over the thought of her coming into his bedroom and staying the night. Would he be good enough for her? Would she be satisfied? Would she run away from him? The questions were endless. Dimitri did his best to shove the self-doubt to the side and focus on the children in front of him.

The day came and went and before Dimitri knew it, he was pacing back and forth in his bedroom. The children had gone to bed an hour ago and the four of them had stayed up talking. Dedue spent his nights in the manor since his mother had passed with Mercedes at his side. Byleth usually stayed until Mercedes left, but given the recent state of things, nobody was leaving the manor. They had banded together in their time of misery.

The door creaked open. Dimitri’s head snapped up to Byleth. She looked a little bit nervous, which almost made Dimitri laugh. She was the nervous one? Little did she know. There was no speaking as Byleth locked the door. Dimitri went to her, pulled her close, and kissed her. They barely spoke as the clothes went off, outside of the occasional appraisal and moan, as they tumbled into the bed. Dimitri focused on her, and only her. She was beautiful.

After they were done, Byleth curled up into his chest. Dimitri absentmindedly ran a hand through her hair as she lulled off into a sleep. He smiled as he kissed her forehead. She wasn’t haunted by nightmares; she could sleep soundly. Having her presence in the bed was enough to make him relax, despite the lingering feeling of being watched. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Nobody was watching him. He was high off the adrenaline from an orgasm, nothing more. 

Eventually Dimitri fell asleep to the sound of Byleth’s snores, only to be awoken by a loud banging. His eyes opened and he remained motionless in the bed. Byleth didn’t stir. The banging continued, causing Dimitri to wince. It was coming from Felix and Ingrid’s room. HIs blood ran cold. Dimitri had promised Ingrid that he wouldn’t leave his room at night after the Lady Rhea incident but something was wrong.

Something was very wrong.

Dimitri gently pulled Byleth off him and tucked her into the bed. She didn’t move. If it weren’t for her snoring, Dimitri would have wondered if she was still breathing. He pressed a kiss to her cheek, she muttered something inaudible in response, and continued to be blissfully unaware. Dimitri slid on his slippers, grabbed a sweatshirt, pulled it over his head, and left the room.

The banging was _coming_ from Felix and Ingrid’s room. It got louder the closer Dimitri got to it. He didn’t have to go into their room; they were already outside their door. Felix seemed angry and Ingrid was pleading with something - no, someone. 

“Pease, please, Annie, don’t.” 

Annie? Dimitri’s blood ran cold. Annie was the name of their previous au pair. Annie, otherwise known as Annette, was also dead. Then again, so was Lady Rhea and Dimitri had seen her clear as day walking through the halls. 

“ _Shut up!”_ Another voice called out. Dimitri didn’t recognize it but had an inkling as to who it was. 

Ingrid and Felix were in his line of sight. He could reach out his hand and be within their grasp within ten feet. The closer he got, the more he saw the bright red hair and the same man from the kitchen that startled him. They hadn’t noticed him, not yet, all he had to do was be quiet and then he could pull the twins awa-

“Look who wants to play!”

_Shit_.

Dimitri didn’t get a chance to respond before his world went black.

* * *

When Dimitri opened his eyes, everything hurt. 

He tried to speak but was gagged. He squirmed but realized he was shackled with rope. Whoever had done it had done a decent job. His skin was going to be raw the more he moved to break free. The panic was starting to set in as he studied his surroundings.

Ingrid was standing next to Annie and tears were streaming down her face. She looked terrified. Annie mirrored Ingrid’s level of fear but was doing a better job of keeping it off her face; it was all in her eyes. She had a hand placed on Ingrid’s shoulder to keep her from moving. Felix was closer to Dimitri and Ryan was hovering over him, whispering in his ear. Felix’s expression was blank. 

The temperature dropped ten degrees as Ryan disappeared. Felix’s expression turned into anger as he looked at Dimitri. His eyes widened as he realized what was going on. He was right; there was something wrong with Felix and it didn’t have anything to do with his parents’ death. Ryan was dead and was possessing him.

“Stop moving, boar!”

“Felix, please, you’re hurting him!”

“Then he should stop fucking moving!” Felix yelled as he paced back and forth in front of Dimitri. He rocked back and forth, desperately trying to break his shackles. “He’s ruining it! We’re so close, Annie, we’re so close, and he comes in here and tries to _ruin everything!”_

Felix jumped back and Ryan reappeared. Felix’s skin paled and he dry heaved as he turned towards the older man.

“I thought you were going to ask before you could do that? It’s better when you ask. Please.”

Felix sounded so broken; Dimitri didn’t recognize it. The boy was tired as he looked at Ryan, unsure of what to do. His stomach dropped at the sight; Dimitri knew the look Felix was wearing. He wore it frequently. Was his trauma being possessed by Ryan, in combination with his parents? Was there more to this story? He didn’t know. Dimitri wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

“Sorry,” Ryan offered, though the apology was fake. “We’re running out of time. He was getting too close to figuring it out.”

Annette looked like she was about to protest, but kept her mouth shut. Her vision narrowed as she stared at Ryan, her expression unreadable. Dimitri breathing became erratic as he learned to cope with the piece of fabric in his mouth. He locked gaze with the redhead, hoping she could read the pleas on his face. _Get me out of here, please_ was what he was trying to convey. She gave no acknowledgement to him.

“You said we had more time!” Ingrid pouted. “He has no idea, I don’t think. It’s the wrong place at the wrong time. Let him go. He will leave and never come back, won’t you, Dimitri?” Ingrid turned to Dimitri. Her eyes spoke legions: _say yes no matter what_.

Dimitri muffled a yes. Ryan pondered her statement for a couple of minutes before he waved his hand in dismissal. Whatever hope Dimitri had of breaking free vanished into thin air as he studied Ingrid. She flinched as Ryan moved closer to her and smiled. The smile was all wrong, with more teeth showing than intended. His figure flickered in and out in the light.

“I thought we did and I apologize, Ingrid, but we really are running out of time. You know what to do, right? About how this will help Miss Annie? You want to help Miss Annie, don’t you?” 

The bile rose in Dimitri’s throat as he listened to Ryan’s words. They were manipulative and Ingrid was young. She would believe him because she believed in adults. Felix was more jaded than his twin but he could tell that Ryan’s knew what strings to pull to get his way. It was sickening. He sniffled and squirmed, feeling his skin chafe against the rope. He needed to stop moving, but the restraints were becoming too much. He had to break free.

“Ryan, just let him go. Ingrid is right, he will run away and never come back. We can finish the plan without him, can we not? That will be for the best, dear,” Annette pleaded. 

Ryan paused before shaking his head. “Not a chance in hell. This is our chance to get our bodies back, he has an idea that something is wrong, and you want to let him go? No way. _Take care of it._ I have to go. You have more time than me.” Ryan waved his hand in dismissal and disappeared. Dimitri didn’t miss how Felix twitched, glared at him, and turned on his heels out the door.

Annette didn’t move. Ingrid looked up at her, waiting for her to do something, _anything_ , but it didn’t come. Not yet. She was waiting to verify that Ryan was gone and not coming back. All Dimitri could hear was the sound of Felix’s footsteps fading. It was the first, and only, time he wished he had Lambert screaming at him. Lambert’s ghost was somehow less terrifying than the real one in front of him.

When Annette was confident that Felix/Ryan wasn’t coming back, she scrambled to Dimitri and untied him, muttering apologies as she did so. She recoiled back when he was free, bracing herself for an attack that never came.

“You have to go. Take Ingrid and go,” Annette said as Dimitri removed the gag from his mouth. He coughed and stared at her. “It’s too late for Felix. He’s spent too much time with him. But Ingrid is safe, you can take her and go. I won’t do what he’s doing to Felix to her. _Go_ ,” Annette said as she scoped up Ingrid and thrusted her into Dimitri’s arms.

Dimitri wobbled on his feet but clung onto Ingrid. The child wrapped her arms around his neck, a little too tightly, and refused to let go. 

“It’s not worth it. It was never worth it. Tell everyone I’m sorry that it came to this, I was misguided. I should have known, but I didn’t. I regret it but if there’s one thing I can fix, it’s this. Take her and run.”

“Annett-”

“I said _run,_ Dimitri. Go!”

Annette waved her hand and the door flung open. Her figure started to fade as Dimitri stared at her. When she became transparent, Dimitri made sure his grip on Ingrid was secure and ran out the door. He was running like his life depended on it because it did. He could hear muffled screams and Felix’s haunting call to Annette. Chills ran down his spine as he ran through the manor. 

Ingrid was crying into his shoulder. He tried to pat her back as he kept his pace as he ran down the stairs. She needed to be quiet, Dimitri couldn’t risk getting caught by anyone in the house, especially not Felix/Ryan.

“It’s okay, we’re almost out of the house,” he offered lamely. Ingrid sniffled as the front door came into Dimitri’s view. “We’re right there, Ingrid.” 

As Dimitri broke through the threshold of the door, the haunting sound of Felix calling out his name echoed through the manor. Resisting the urge to look back, Dimitri pushed through and continued to run. Felix’s calls out to him got louder as they switched between his and Ingrid’s name. 

At some point in the night, it had rained. Dimitri heard his feet squish under the wet grass, He thought nothing of it until he slipped and released his grasp on Ingrid. They tumbled to the ground. Ingrid cried out in pain and Dimitri cursed as he heard something snap. It wasn’t his body; it was Ingrid’s, and she was crying loud. No pleas Dimitri gave to her would get her to stop. 

Felix’s voice was drowned out by Byleth, Mercedes, and Dedue. They sounded significantly farther away than Felix did. Dimitri wanted to call out to them, to alert them to where he was, but no words came out of his mouth. He was too focused on Ingrid, who was unmoving, frozen in fear and crying out in pain. 

Dimitri scrambled to get back on his feet and move towards Ingrid. He was close to grabbing her when a figure grabbed him by the neck and pulled him down. Ingrid screamed. Dimitri could hear Dedue and Mercedes, their voices frantic and getting closer. Byleth’s voice was further away. Felix was the closet. Dimitri struggled against the hand at his neck and clawed at it as she continued to drag him across the ground.

His vision was fading as she gripped his neck. Despite being a ghost, she had a strong grasp. Dimitri let his body go limp instead of fighting. Lambert was laughing in his ear but the fear Dimitri felt didn’t come from his father. If she twisted her hand by five degrees, she would snap his neck. For the first time in years, Dimitri didn’t welcome death. He wanted to fight and continue. He had a reason to live, even if some of them might be lost to a possession. 

“Leave him alone! Take me instead!”

Rhea stopped. Her grip remained on Dimitri’s throat but he felt her body turning to look at the source of the voice. Dimitri recognized Ingrid’s voice, but the words weren’t hers. It was Annette speaking to Rhea. How was that going to work? Annette was a ghost. She couldn’t give what Rhea wanted. 

What did Rhea want? Dimitri racked his brain as he tried to recount the story of her. It had been told to him briefly by Mercedes and Ingrid. Lady Rhea was the reason behind the building of Garreg Mach Manor. It was her legacy and one that she worked hard to build, with her sister Edelgard. Lady Rhea did everything to preserve the manor after their father died, including marrying a nameless man that gave her a child. 

Rhea loved her child. Everything she did was for her. When she fell ill with consumption, part of her died when she was forced to be away from her child. The doctor gave her six months; she lived for five years. Mercedes said it was out of love for the child. Others argued in spite. Near the end of the fifth year, Rhea’s body succumbed to the illness. There were rumours that Edelgard had had enough and killed her sister under the guise of putting her out of her misery. As Edelgard and the man married and tried to grow their family, it was said that Lady Rhea haunted the halls, unable to let Garreg Mach, and her daughter, go.

Ingrid was the same age her daughter had been when Rhea died. His hand trembled in realization at what Annette was going to do. He wanted to scream, to shout, to tell her no, but her grasp was too tight. He had to preserve his breath. His vision was starting to fade again and he was doing everything in his power to stay awake. _He had to stay awake._

Rhea let him go. Dimitri’s body crashed to the ground and the wind was knocked out of him due to the impact. He was too focused on gasping for air that he didn’t notice that Rhea had turned and walked to Ingrid. She scooped Ingrid up into her arms, held her tightly, and turned towards the lake. He watched Rhea walk into the lake. Annette appeared behind the two of them and was whispering something to Ingrid. Dimitri couldn’t make out what she was saying but given how she disappeared with the blink of an eye, he knew she was with Annette.

Dimitri pushed himself off the ground, ignoring the fact that his head was throbbing. His chest constricted as he stood up. He could breathe properly again. He took a deep breath as he tried to stabilize himself. He could hear Byleth calling out his name, which gave him more motivation to keep pressing forward. He had to get back to Byleth, to Dedue, to Mercedes. He had to do it. He pushed through the pain and ran after Rhea.

Rhea was near the middle of the lake by the time Dimitri caught up to her. Ingrid was silent outside of her sniffling. The moon lit up the lake, giving Dimitri a good view of Rhea and Ingrid. Rhea was still faceless, her general appearance blurry, and Ingrid looked terrified. Dimitri waddled into the lake, unsure of what he was going to do. How could he stop Rhea from drowning Ingrid? Dedue called out his name in the distance.

A wave of calm washed over Dimitri as he looked at Rhea, who had stopped moving. He knew what he had to do. He knew what she wanted. To end this, end her misery, he had to welcome her into his life. He already welcomed Lambert, what was another one? If this was the price of saving Ingrid from dying, he would take it. His life didn’t matter compared to the child in the water.

“It’s you! It’s me, it’s us.”

_"The au pair wasn’t sure what he was saying. In that moment, he knew the words he had to say to save the child. He followed them into the lake, reaching knee level, and repeated the words: it’s you, it’s me, it’s us.”_

Rhea turned to face Dimitri. There were no facial features to her but Dimitri could make out the confusion, and eventual acceptance, on her face. In the blink of an eye, she let Ingrid go and moved towards Dimitri. She collided with him and he welcomed her. He was knocked off his feet as Rhea took over him, splashing into the water. Dimitri closed his eyes. He jerked as Rhea settled into him, closing his eyes. The cold water slashed over his clothes and he opened his eyes. 

Something released in the manor. He couldn’t explain it. Dimitri felt the wave of exhaustion wash over him. He fell into the water, his vision fading in and out. He could make out Ingrid who was swimming towards the shoreline. He felt a hand wrap around his waist and pull him up. With his half open eyes, he saw Byleth. She looked concerned. She held onto him tighter and pulled him into her chest.

“Ingrid! Are you okay?” Byleth called out as the water splashed next to Dimitri.

“Yeah, she’s gone. Is Dimitri okay?”

Dimitri groaned and leaned into Byleth’s embrace, closing his eyes. She gave a weak laugh and held him close. He could feel his body start to shiver from the temperature of the lake but found himself unable to move. Byleth pressed a kiss to his forehead.

“Yeah, I think so.”

Dimitri curled into Byleth. He wanted to sleep but did his best to stay awake. Dedue’s voice called out to Byleth, who said that she had Dimitri. He felt Ingrid’s hand run through his hair as he did his best to relax. He needed to breathe, accept what had just happened, and not have a panic attack. Lambert was quiet. Everything was quiet. 

“Byleth, have you seen Mercedes?” 

Ingrid’s hand stopped moving. Dimitri opened his eyes and stared at the man. He looked as worried as his tone suggested. Ingrid was crying. Felix emerged next to Dedue and before Dimitri could protest, he realized it was Felix, not Ryan possessing him. The tears fell from the corner of Felix’s eyes as he looked away from Dedue. The guilt the boy was carrying was too much.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. He …. He took control, got angry, and I’m _so sorry_.” Felix was sobbing now. He looked like the ten-year-old he was supposed to be, not a man haunted by a ghost. 

Dedue’s face paled. He reached out and put a gentle hand on Felix’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Felix. I know it wasn’t you.”

Felix sobs turned into wails. Ingrid broke away from Dimitri and ran to her brother. She pulled him into a hug and held him tightly. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

Dimitri’s eyes closed as he listened to Felix apologize. It was too much to comprehend. He closed his eyes again and leaned back into Byleth’s comforting figure. They would dread the events of tonight in the morning. What mattered was that everyone was alive and okay, or as okay as they could be. The emotional turmoil was something they could tackle tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> final chapter tomorrow. <3


	3. no one compares to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five years have passed but the ghosts still linger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please read with care. nothing is explicit, just heavily implied/maybe one or two direct mentions.

_“Time passed after that fateful night. They held a funeral for Mercedes before going their separate ways. Mr. Dominic appeared to have gathered himself enough to take the children under his wing. He took them away from the manor. Everyone wound up back in Fhirdiad and settled into their new life…”_

Five years had passed

All things considered, Dimitri thought he was doing well. Lambert had his moments of cropping up and the rage from Rhea festered at some points, but he was able to manage it. It helped that Byleth was at his side. He had followed her as soon as she left Garreg Mach. They wound up on the east side of Fhirdiad with Dedue. He opened a restaurant and Byleth opened a flower shop, which Dimitri became her first employee.

Their relationship developed quickly. It wasn’t long before Dimitri was whispering I love you into Byleth’s ear as he held her close. To his surprise, she loved him back. She was kind and patient as he worked through the acceptance of learning to love again. She never pried on his sleepless nights or how he would cry and cradle his hand in between his heads about the image of his father haunting him. She was supportive and everything he could have hoped for.

It was why, after a conversation with Dedue, he decided to propose. The idea was a bit lame but fit their dynamic. He brought her a dying plant and begged for her help. When she dug into the plant, she discovered the engagement ring. Dimitri launched into a spiel about how his life had changed for the better because he knew her and wanted nothing more than to make her his wife. With tears in her eyes, Byleth accepted his proposal. 

It was the happiest Dimitri had felt in a long time. He, Byleth, and Dedue had taken to celebrating their engagement over dinner one night. It was a great chance for them to catch up. Their respective careers had made their time for communication limited. Dedue’s restaurant, A Batter Place, had taken off in popularity shorter after opening. 

“She would be so proud of you and this, you know,” Byleth said after silence had lulled into their conversation. Dimitri’s eyes drifted up to the portrait of Mercedes, which Dedue hung in the foyer of his restaurant.

“She would hate the name, but find it amusing. Seriously, my friend, she would be so proud,” Dimitri offered as he grabbed Byleth’s hand underneath the table and gave it a gentle squeeze. The topic of Mercedes’s death always left him uncomfortable, but if Dedue was happy talking about her memory, then she was as well. “Thank you for the dinner. This was more than we could have ever expected.”

“Nonsense,” Dedue replied as he poured another glass of champagne for the three of them. “This is the least I could do for you two. I am so happy and I know she would be too.” Dedue’s gaze drifted up towards Mercedes's portrait and he smiled. “She would have said it’s about time. It’s been what, five years?”

Dimitri blushed and Byleth laughed. She squeezed his hand in response before taking a sip of her champagne. “Yes, five years. But you can’t rush perfection, you know,” she teased. “Enough about us. How have you been? It’s been a while since we’ve been able to see you.” 

The conversation turned into another chance for them to catch up. Dimitri hadn’t realized that it had been at least a year since he had seen Dedue, probably more. He watched Dedue and Byleth as they chatted back and forth about everything. The smile crept on his face and he was lost in their conversation when the image of Rhea appeared out of the corner of his eye. He jumped back and swore softly.

“Are you okay, my love?” 

Byleth had been through his moments of paranoia, when his world was collapsing around him, and he needed someone to hold onto. Theyhad developed a safety plan for the times those experiences became too rough. The way her eyes narrowed gave Dimitri a sense that she was preparing for the worst. He waved his hand and brushed her off. What was he supposed to say, he had started to see figments of Rhea out of the corner of his eye? She struggled with accepting Lambert, let alone Rhea.

“Apologies, beloved, I thought I saw a spider.” It was the weakest lie. Dedue and Byleth stared at him, unwilling to accept it. When they didn’t say anything, Dimitri took a sip of his champagne and tried to change the topic. “Have you seen Ingrid and Felix lately? They’re almost sixteen, right?”

“Yes, I saw them a few weeks ago.” Dedue launched into the story about how Felix, Ingrid, and Mr. Dominic had come into the restaurant. It was amazing to Dimitri that the twins didn’t remember anything about Garreg Mach. It was a blessing, one that he was jealous of for the two of them. He leaned back into his chair as listened to Dedue recount his time with the twins.

Part of Dimitri wanted Felix and Ingrid to remember him in more detail. He had saved their lives, after all, but he didn’t blame them. If that had happened to him at that age, he would have blocked it out too. Being haunted with memories of that manor wasn’t something Dimitri wished on anyone. The other part of him was extremely jealous that they were about to block it out when he was seeing Rhea in mirrors and reflections of himself. 

“She has a boyfriend?!" Byleth exclaimed. 

Dimitri turned his attention from Dedue to his fiancé. He had been warped up in his thoughts and had missed the conversation. 

“Yes, his name is Sylvain. She said she’ll bring him around the next time they stop by. Apparently, he’s good to her, even though Felix finds him incredibly irritating. They met through Felix and his fencing class. She seems quite smitten with him.”

“I can’t believe it,” Dimitri said. “Little Ingrid… having a boyfriend. I cannot believe how much time has passed since Garreg Mach.”

Dedue’s lips pursed. Byleth nodded in agreement. She held up her champagne glass for a toast, wanting to shift the conversation. Dimitri didn’t blame her. She got uncomfortable anytime they brought up Garreg Mach, though Dimitri suspected it was out of respect for his mental health, not hers. She was stronger than she let on.

“Here’s to them living a happy life,” Byleth said.

Dimitri and Dedue raised their champagne glasses and clinked it with Byleth. The reflection of Rhea lingered as Dimitri took a sip of his champagne.

* * *

_“But the rage, the misery, and the trauma that Lady Rhea felt was real. What the au pair didn’t realize was that when he welcomed Lady Rhea into himself, he had taken everything she held. Her emotions clung to her, and in return, they clung to him. All the rage she held was starting to fester…”_

The sleepiness nights became more frequent. Dimitri lied and said it was because he was worried about wedding planning. Byleth saw right through him. She knew he was using it as a scapegoat. She had woken up to him sitting on the edge of the bed, his hands gripped on the frame, as he tried to calm himself down, too many times to count. She had suggested therapy, which he had tried, but it wasn’t working. 

They tried medication, more therapy, and more medication. Eventually, they had gotten to a point where the dosage of medication Dimitri had was doing _something_. It wasn’t enough, he was still haunted by the ghosts of his past, but it appeared to be manageable. Byleth was by his side every moment, never wavering in her dedication, love, and support. The thought of Byleth next to him made Dimitri cry. 

It had gotten worse within the past three months and Dimitri had done his best to hide it. Lambert and Rhea were regular occurrences. Lambert was reminding him that he was worthless and Rhea was encouraging him to give in to the anger that Lambert was feeding. His head hurt constantly and he spent most of his days in the bed trying to fight off the migraine the two developed. Plus, the more he was in the bed, the less he looked at Byleth and resisted the urge to hurt her.

That was the thought that scared him the most. He didn’t want to hurt Byleth. The thought made him ill when it flashed through his mind. He avoided the kitchen most nights because of it. Tonight was one of the rare nights where he felt decent and could handle being in the kitchen with a knife. He was chopping vegetables, engaging in a conversation with his fiancée, and seemed to be doing okay.

The hiss of the steam on the stove startled him. The knife dug into his skin. Dimitri yelped, dropped the knife, and backed away from the island counter. He grabbed a kitchen cloth and put pressure on the wound, his eyes narrowing at the knife.

“Shit, shit, sorry, are you okay? I didn’t realize the water was boiling,” Byleth said.

Dimitri broke his gaze from the knife to look at his fiancée. She looked concerned but Dimitri couldn’t share the empathy. All he felt was the rage as he looked at her. How could she startle him? She knew how he reacted around certain noises. This was ridiculous, she knew better than that. All he had to do was grab the knif-

_No._

The angry haze evaporated as the thought turned violent. Dimitri sobbed in realization as to what he was about to do. He pressed back into the wall and slid down before pressing his head against his knees. Dimitri squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to drown out therage that was building back up. Lambert’s laughter had joined the sense of fury he felt from Rhea. Dimitri bit his lip as he tried to reign in his focus.

“Your name is Dimitri. You are twenty-nine. The year is 2013. You live in Fhirdiad.”

Byleth’s voice was calling out to him. She was starting their safety plan. Step one was ground himself. They went over his name, his age, the year, and where he lived. The other sentences depended on his mood. When Byleth was speaking to him, she mentioned their relationship. When he was thinking, he thought about the smell of jasmine, vanilla, and chamomile. 

“You’re engaged to a girl name Byleth. You own a flower shop together. The season is fall.”

She was stating random facts. It was working. Dimitri rocked back and forth in the ball. 

“Repeat after me. My name is Dimitri. I am twenty-nine. The year is 2013.I live in Fhirdiad.”

Byleth paused, giving Dimitri a chance to speak. He sniffled as he lifted his head from his knees and looked at her. Lambert was standing behind her, a look of disgust on his face. The bile rose in Dimitri’s throat. Byleth’s mouth was moving but he heard no words.

A hand touched his knee. Dimitri resisted the urge to jerk back. Byleth was trying to comfort him, not hurt him. She wasn’t Lambert, who wanted to see him suffer. She wasn’t Rhea, who wanted her to hurt everyone he knew. This was Byleth, the love of his life who wanted to pull him out of his walking nightmare.

“My name is Dimitri. I am twenty-nine. The year is 2013.I live in Fhirdiad,” he stated hoarsely. 

“Good. Continue. I am engaged to a girl name Byleth. We own a flower shop together. The season is fall.”

Dimitri clenched his hands. His nails dug into his skin hard enough he was drawing blood. Despite the pain, it made him feel more alive. It was grounded, in a sick and twisted way. He took a deep breath in and locked his gaze with Byleth’s.

“I am engaged to a girl named Byleth. We own a flower shop together. The season is fall.”

“Good. My name is Dimitri. I am twenty-nine…”

They repeated the statements. When Dimitri felt grounded, he would feel silly. He would apologize profusely to Byleth about what had happened and she would shrug him off. It took a couple of hours for them to get back in sync. Those times were filled with them watching movies or going for a walk; something to keep them distracted from what had happened.

Byleth believed him whenever the voices became too loud. That thought warmed his heart. What concerned him was that, as time went on, the voices were becoming louder. Lambert’s tone was more mocking and derogatory. Rhea’s rage was turning from brief annoyances to full-blown bouts of anger and a desire to hurt the ones he loved. The spells (a term Byleth had coined, having decided she didn’t want the situation to become completely negative) were becoming more frequent. 

By the end of the fifth year away from Garreg Mach, the spells were happening weekly. Dimitri spent his time with a glazed over focus as he tried to reign in the sinister emotions. The medication he took helped numb the pain but as time went on, the medication stopped working. His therapist had mentioned it was a possibility. Dimitri never thought it would happen. He knew he had to be truthful when he threw something in Byleth’s general direction.

She held him in her arms as he cried and confessed. The medication wasn’t working, they needed to try something different, and it would be okay. This was what happened when it came to treating mental illness, that’s what his therapist had said. Byleth reminded him of it constantly. Dimitri knew it was true, but with Lambert’s cruel laughter about him being a failure who couldn’t handle basic chemistry in his brain, it was hard to cope with.

Dimitri had reached the point where the lines of reality were blurring. Was the anger he felt from Rhea or himself? Did he feel sad because of the weather outside or the broken brain chemistry? Did the self-doubt come from Lambert whispering in his ear or was it something he believed deep in his core? Or was it all Rhea taking full control of his body? Dimitri didn’t know. It scared the living hell out of him.

The night he woke up, looked at Byleth, and realized he wanted her to suffer with him was the night Dimitri had enough. He had been dancing around the thought for ages, always pushing it to the side when it cropped up. The incident with the knife opened his eyes to what was happening, Dimitri had just chosen to ignore it. The self-control he had been holding onto shattered as he stared at Byleth.

He had to leave. He had to leave for her safety and his. There was only one way this curse, this possession, would end. Dimitri knew what he had to do.

* * *

Byleth woke up to an empty bed. 

She sat up and looked to her left. Dimitri was nowhere to be seen. There was a folded piece of paper on his pillow. With a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, she grabbed the paper and opened it. 

_I’m sorry. I love you._

Those were the only words written. The paper was stained with droplets, which Byleth assumed were his tears. She bit down on her lip hard enough to taste blood to prevent her from crying. He didn’t have to tell her more in this letter for her to know what he had done.

She ran a finger over the paper as she tried to imagine the state Dimitri was in as he wrote this. He would have been quiet (which was useless, she was a heavy sleeper). He would have placed it gently on his pillow, quietly grabbed his wallet, and walked out the door. There would be no need for clothes or his phone where he was going. Byleth let out a strangled sobbed and threw the letter towards the end of the bed.

Byleth wanted to be angry. She wanted to yell, to scream, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Her anger was selfish. She knew why Dimitri had left. They had been skating around the issue since they left Garreg Mach. It had gotten worse as time went on, specifically within the last six months. Byleth considered it a blessing when they made it four days without Dimitri having a spell.

“Fuck,” she muttered.

She glanced over at the clock. It was almost 10 am. They had gone to bed around midnight. Knowing Dimitri, he had slept for an hour before he woke up and stared at the ceiling. He had nine hours on her, at the earliest. Cursing under her breath, she swung the covers off and scrambled to put herself together. She needed a new change of clothes, brush her teeth, run a comb through her hair, and grab her wallet and keys. It wouldn’t take more than ten minutes.

The ten minutes turned into thirty. In a moment of panic, she had texted Dedue. He called her and they had a brief conversation. He insisted that he go with Byleth to Garreg Mach but she refused. 

“You’ve already lost one person to that place, you don’t need to see another,” Byleth had told him. 

Their conversation ended shortly after that. Byleth got in her car and drove in silence to Garreg Mach. It was five hours away on a good day. With her speed and her luck, she would be there in four. The silence was welcomed as she focused on the road

What was she going to do when she arrived at Garreg Mach? She knew where Dimitri was. There was no question about that. Would she linger, take the time to look at her overgrown garden? The place had been abandoned two years after that night, when Mr. Dominic decided he never wanted Felix and Ingrid to go back. Would she wander through the halls, reminiscing about her time there? Would she hear Felix crying over something Ingrid said, followed by Ingrid’s laughter? 

Would she see Dimitri? Byleth could picture him running after the twins, his face light with laughter. There were there stolen conversations, the night they kissed, the time after that… 

Byleth shook her head. Garreg Mach held too many memories. Most of them were good but they were going to be marred by what she was walking into. Her knuckles went white around the steering wheel as the car came to a stop. She glanced down at the car clock: four hours and six minutes. She snorted as Dimitri chided her for her speeding.

Taking a deep breath, Byleth stepped out of the car. She stared at Garreg Mach manor. It had been left alone for almost four years and had been given back to nature. The vines, once carefully maintained by her, were overgrown and climbing the walls. Some of the windows were dusty and broken into. The paint was starting to chip and the wooden doors looked crack. She smiled as she took in the deprecated state of the manor. This was the state the hellish place was meant to be.

The mint haired woman wanted to prologue what she was about to find. A small part of her hoped that this was a dream, that she would wake up and Dimitri would be sprawled out next to her, drool spilling out of his mouth. Byleth knew this wasn’t the case. She had to face the music.

Tears started to spill as she walked towards the lake. The manor was quiet, save for the sound of the occasional bird. Her footsteps echoed and she resisted the urge to run. If she ran to the lake, it would be over with. It was like a band-aid; she had to rip it off. Byleth took a deep breath and closed her eyes briefly before regaining the courage to get to the edge of the lake.

She wasn’t paying attention when her feet stopped. Byleth had been focused on the world around her, honing in on the colour of the trees, what type of birds were signing, etc. A chill settled over her body as she stared at the ground. All she had to do was peel her eyes up towards the surface of the lake instead of focusing on the smell of grass. The sooner she did it, the quicker it would be over.

_On the count of three._

She didn’t want to do it but counting to three was her only solution. Counting to three allowed herself a time limit and a chance to recollect whatever sense of self she had left. Byleth cried and wiped the corner of her left eye with her sleeve.

_One._

The snot was starting to drip down her face. Her chest felt tight. She kept her gaze planted firmly on the grass. It was wet, which only caused her to cry harder. 

_Two._

Byleth rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet. The tears were flowing freely. Her head was starting to hurt from the crying.

_Three._

Her gaze drifted towards the lake and she let out a strangled cry. 

She didn’t think, she just acted. She ran into the lake before diving into a pathetic doggie paddle to get to Dimitri. The water splashed on her face and her buoyancy was changing the further she paddled to the middle of the lake. It didn’t matter that she was exhausted and her vision was blurry; she had to get to Dimitri.

It was becoming harder to move forward. After a few minutes, but what felt like hours to Byleth, she grabbed hold of her fiancé. She couldn’t feel the bottom and frantically kicked her feet to keep herself afloat. She pulled Dimitri into her, cradling his face. He looked so peaceful in death. Byleth struggled to catch her breath as she cried and stay above water.

Byleth pressed a kiss to his forehead. He was too cold; it was all wrong. She pushed a wet strand of hair away from his face as she studied it. His features had soften over the years. Dimitri usually looked worried and tired, even if he had a decent nights sleep. It was the first time since she had known him that he looked peaceful. The closest she could place was when he looked at her. Yet even if he was peaceful, happy, whatever, she could still make out the misery in his eyes. That misery was avoid. She struggled to kick her feet and stay a float as she shut Dimitri's eyes. 

“You did it, my love. You did it. You can rest now.”

* * *

“It started where it ended, back in that damn lake. The au pair knew that to end the curse, he had to take Lady Rhea’s place. By the time the gardener had gotten to him, it was too late. She pulled him up from the bottom of the lake, held him in her arms, and cried to the heavens. But the curse of Garreg Mach and Lady Rhea’s rage had finally ended. No lost or tortured souls would haunt it no more.”

Byleth paused as she twiddled with the ring on her ring finger. A small smile escaped her lips and she chuckled. “I apologize. It’s not a terribly happy story, nor is it short. Hopefully I won't cause you to lose too much sleep.”

The room had fallen silent. It was welcomed to Byleth. She turned her attention to Ingrid and Sylvain, who was staring at her with wide eyes. Ferdinand looked visibly freaked and Dorothea looked amused. The other guests were trying to process the information. It was almost amusing. 

“Is it real? Garreg Mach? Like I could go there tomorrow?” Dorothea eventually asked.

Byleth shrugged. “You can’t find it on a map. I’m sure it existed at one point, as do most manors. Theoretically, you could find the lake but you ask yourself is it really that lake? Besides, it’s best to let those souls rest.” 

“Ghosts aren’t real,” another voice chimed in. Byleth fought the urge to roll her eyes. Little did the gentleman know. He had blocked out his memories long ago. “It’s just a story people tell to freak others out. Don’t be stupid enough to believe it.”

“Don’t be rude, Felix,” Ingrid replied, her tone harsh as she stared at her twin. “It’s just a story, one that Byleth was kind enough to tell us.” 

Felix opened his mouth to respond but clamped it shut. Sylvain took the chance to speak up, the teasing look never leaving his eyes. “You’re just pissed off that the two share the same names as you do! What, don’t like the idea of you getting possessed by a douchebag named Ryan?”

There was a thud as Ingrid thwacked her fiancé on the back of the head. He laughed, Dorothea and Ferdinand rolled their eyes and Felix glared at the redhead. Byleth snickered at the image. It wasn’t often she saw the five of them together but when she did, they reminded her of a time when she was younger. She was happy to see how far Ingrid and Felix had come.

“It is weird, isn’t it? That they share the same name as the two of you? And they’re twins? You guys said you don’t remember much about living in Garreg Mach. What if it’s true?” Dorothea asked.

Ingrid shrugged. “It could be, it couldn’t be. It’s likely just that it’s a tale that Byleth told us to scare the living hell out of us when we decided to do stupid shit as teenagers.”

Byleth’s heart dropped. She had told Ingrid and Felix vague stories about Garreg Mach and mentioned that it was haunted by ghosts when they were teenagers, but left it at that. She had also recounted the stories to them when they realized she had been the gardener shortly after leaving Garreg Mach for good. Most of the stories they heard had come from Dimitri, not that they remembered him. She bit her lip and gave them a sad smile.

Dedue recognized the sadness in her eyes. He stood up from his seat, taking control of the topic at hand. “How about we all go to bed? There’s a big day ahead of us and I need to be up early to make sure the food prep starts on time. Come on, sleep will be welcomed.”

There was a murmur of agreement. Ferdinand yawned and stood up. He grabbed Dorothea’s hand and led her off to their room for the night. The others followed suit, with Sylvain and Ingrid being the last. They stood up, their hands interlocked, and as Sylvain was leading her towards their bedroom, Ingrid stopped.

“Dorothea’s right. It is a little weird that they share the same names as Felix and I.” Ingrid pursed her lips. “I’ve heard stories about Garreg Mach for my whole life and I barely remember it. Does it really exist or was just that a fabrication you made up to scare us?”

Byleth shrugged. “That’s the point of a ghost story, my dear. It blurs the line between reality.”

At face value, the story seemed too wild to be true. When she wrote down her thoughts, Byleth had trouble accepting it was true, despite living it. It was the stuff of horror movies, not real life. It had taken her some time to accept the events of Garreg Mach and the years that followed. When she had, she felt exhausted. It had become a blessing in disguise that the story, while real, was hidden behind the illusion of ghosts.

“You’re wrong. It’s not just a ghost story,” Ingrid spoke after a moment of silence.

“Oh?” Byleth titled her head to the side as she studied the blonde. What else could it be? A horror story? That was a good candidate.

“It’s also a love story.” Sylvain nodded in agreement with Ingrid. “The au pair and the gardener clearly loved each other. They did everything they could to stay together, but sometimes fate works in mysterious ways. I believe the au pair died intending to save everyone, especially his fiancée. Do you?”

Byleth’s face paled. Ingrid was more insightful than she remembered. She took a gup of her champagne to clear her throat. _Remain calm, remain calm, remain calm. Breathe in, and out. Your name is Byleth Eisner. The year is 2020. It is the night before Ingrid and Sylvain’s wedding._ She took another sip of her champagne as she recomposed herself. If they studied her closely, they would realize she was doing her best not to cry.

“A love story? I hadn’t considered that. This is a story I’ve been hearing for years, so pardon if my retelling is flimsy at best. But yes, I do believe that’s the reason he died.” Before Ingrid or Sylvain could say anything else, she made a shooing motion with her hand. “We can talk more about this another time if you would like. For now, you two need to get some sleep! You have such a big day tomorrow!” 

They exchanged their goodnights. Byleth sighed as she shut the door behind them. She took another sip of her wine, polishing it off and wishing she had something stronger. She turned her attention towards the back of the room, where a figure was propped up against the wall with his arms crossed against his chest. The sadness that had overcome her earlier started to disappear as she stared at him.

“My love, I feel that you left an important part of your story out.”

“What, that this used to be Garreg Mach Manor and that I can’t swim worth a damn so I drowned?” Dimitri flinched at her harsh words. Byleth didn't believe in beating around the bush when it came to the circumstances around her death. “No, my love, they don’t need that detail of the story.” She reached out and took her hands into his. “It’s enough that we’re able to contort the history, especially since it's only been twelve years. We should consider ourselves lucky. Most places like this take decades to build lore.”

Dimitri took their intertwined hands and brushed her knuckles against her cheek. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, his lips lingering as he sighed. 

“You’re right but ending it on such a happy note seems wrong.” Dimitri took his free hand and placed it on her waist, pulling her close. “Although Ingrid was right about it being a love story. You had me hooked since the moment I saw you.”

Byleth snorted. “Yeah, the dirt in my hair? It was super sexy, I know.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “A happy note is necessary for them, my love. I do not think it would benefit them to hear the full story; they don’t need to know the full details. It already ends horrifically enough with the au pair sacrificing himself to make whatever curse Garreg Mach held from Lady Rhea end. It’s already enough with Dedue knowing the full story.”

Byleth rested her head against Dimitri’s chest. There was no heartbeat. The solid figure was starting to weaken; Byleth could tell based off the indent her head was leaving. Dimitri kissed the crown of her head and focused on the fireplace in the background. It reminded him of that night, all those years ago, when Byleth had drunkenly kissed him. He ran a hand through her hair absentmindedly. He lived for moments like this, when their forms were more solid and they could hold each other intimately.

“I wish they would remember. It’s hard seeing them and them having no idea,” Dimitri admitted softly.

“I know.” And Byleth did. She didn’t need Dimitri to verbally express to her how sad he was over the fact that they barely remembered him. They only had photos and Byleth’s stories to go on, and even then, she kept her stories vague about her fiancé. “When we meet them again, we can tell them all about it.”

Dimitri pulled Byleth’s chin up from his chest and kissed her. She was right. When they met again, they could tell them all about what happened at Garreg Mach. For now, Dimitri would settle for having Byleth at his side as they wanted through the halls of the manor. He kept close after pulling away from the kiss, a small smile on his face.

“You’re right, when we meet them again.” That was at least half a century away and that was being cynical. He hoped Ingrid, Sylvain and Felix would live well into their 90s. He gave her a chaste kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too. Now come, let us rest before tomorrow. If we stay like this for much longer, we won’t be able to see the wedding.” 

As if on queue, her appearance started to fade in and out with the light. Dimitri took a step back, noticing how his own form was fading. He hated how limited their time was. He knew that it took a lot for the two of them to have solid forms and every time he came back, he wished for more. Most of the time, they filtered between transparency and voices. This was a rare occasion that he was able to hold Byleth. He cherished every second of it.

Her form started to fade. Dimitri could see his hand becoming transparent. He looked back up to Byleth, the smile never leaving his face.

“Lead the way, my love.” 

Everything he had gone through was worth it to see the people he cared for to be happy. The bonus was that Byleth was at his side for the rest of eternity.

Perhaps death wasn’t so terrible after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! see you guys next dimileth fic. they live in my brain rent free. <3

**Author's Note:**

> i have this fic finished so i'll be posting the next chapter tomorrow c:
> 
> follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/oliviasmooress) where i cry a lot about dimileth.


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